We built the thing we kept joking about.

What we actually do

A meow carries real information. Cats barely meow at each other — it's a sound they developed for us. Length, pitch, how it rises or falls, how many bursts, how rough it is: those change depending on whether a cat is greeting you, asking you something, complaining, or telling you to put it down.

Meowsetta measures those things properly, on your own device, and turns them into a mood and a line you can read. Then it does the same in reverse: your words become meows, trills and purrs pitched to your cat's voice.

What we don't do

We don't claim to have cracked cat, and we won't pretend a sentence on a screen came out of your cat's own head. The measurements are real. The sentence is entertainment. Anyone telling you otherwise is selling something worse than we are.

We're also not a vet. If your cat's crying has changed, or sounds like pain, ring your vet — that's a job for a person with hands and a stethoscope.

How we make our money

From subscriptions, and only from subscriptions. There are no adverts, no data sales and no third-party trackers following you round the internet. £9.99 a month from people who enjoy it keeps the whole thing running.